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Sunday, November 10, 2013

Memoirs of a Lagos City Hustler (LCH) - Part 2




Part 2.....

I recall my first time I tried jumping off a molue on motion,my short life flashed before me and when I opened my eyes, the first glimpse I caught was that of some touts mocking me and one offered to pull me up, with my blood stained lips, all I could do was laugh. I've always learnt to get up on my feet and move on anytime I land on my back.

I would say this hustling life chose me rather than vice versa, I was touring London alone as at 2007, window shopping and sightseeing and now,I'm grown and detached myself from unmerited and unnecessarily expensive luxuries.I've survived long on these streets to see young lads rise and fall with unmerited wealth.

There was this illiterate lad on my street, he hires secondary school boys to help chat with his white friends and this very day,he came to my house holding his stomach begging for whatever food I could spare even if it were leftovers, I was heading out but had to make him rice and gave him to eat. The next day I heard he got a transfer of $1500 from his white friend(who are we deceiving?.....friend my foot) and his friends were racking up bills at the local peppersoup joint before he got back from the bank.

He went to computer village to purchase 6 blackberry phones, a laptop and other irrelevant stuffs and he totally forgot how much suffering he wailed in a day before. He lodged in an hotel with 3 girls(all of whom wouldn't talk to him a day before) and by the third day, he had just 500naira left($3.50) and he came back strolling to my house begging me to help sell 5 of the blackberries...as a sharp street boy na, I gave him 10,000naira for all 5 new blackberries(what??.....I'm not a bad person joooor), he had no choice, he needed the cash.

Immediately I entered the street and sold each for 35,000naira. His name was segun(as his many stories won't end here), segun's stories were prototypes and yardsticks of how not to act, he never learns and makes new mistakes in old ways and old mistakes in new ways.

Its been a year since this incident, he still hasn't learnt a damn thing, I lend him my laptop sometimes for 5000naira a night and every now and then he gets money, somehow(I still wonder how) everybody knows he has some money and all flock around him to hurt his pocket, so tell me, why would you pity such person; You try to teach him a lesson and he turns up without his homework.

Enough of segun today jare, I'm supposed to go help a company configure the 20 smartphones they got for their staffs and take a wild guess how much I'm charging for each smartphone??..........LCH for life!!!

LCH is an exaggerated non-fiction story exclusive to mofolusade's blog. Every name or character is fictional and any resemblance to a real name or character is just mere coincidence.