Hposh Diaries..... #confessions

I was a student at OAU Pre-degree when the paths of a beautiful chic and myself crossed.

Our hearts flowed into each other.

We started spending more time with each other.

In no time, I found myself speaking with her parents on phone.

The month we met was my birthday.

She was the first girl ever to give me my most memorable birthday gift.

Don't ask me what it was.

Fast forward to some days later, things went sour.

We didn't understand each other anymore.

She wanted to explore...wanted to enjoy life.

We were young then...

I had no right to cage a damsel like herself.

We stopped spending quality time with each other.

The texts stopped.

We put an end to exchange of phone calls.

No matter how worse things got, I still remember some things

I smiled when I had 268 in JAMB that year.

She had given me a condition that if I didn't have above 260 she wouldn't consider my proposal.

Those were the good old days.

We were writing our second contact examinations that will prepare us for permanent admission into Obafemi Awolowo University, OAU, Ile-Ife when the distance between us knew no bounds.

If I hadn't been thinking about the strain in our relationship, I would have had better than 68/100 in my final exams.

That is what a woman or should I say a girl can do to a guy like me.

Afterwards, I swore never to have anything to do with any girl.

I had a challenge... I didn't have the guts to be a bad guy like my peeps.

So the best thing I could do was to maintain my distance with the feminine species.

As time went on I got back on board with my dreams.

I had a new vision - to become the richest man on earth.

I began to eye the Forbes list.

I worked so hard - became a workaholic along the line.

On several occasions concerned friends told me to find a life.

They even teased me that I was gay.

Gosh! That sucks.

I had so many girls around me but paid attention to none.

My communication with chics was restricted to business.

It gets boring sometimes - especially when network is down and I can't go online.

During the 6-months ASUU strike, my mentor got irritated at how much time I put into work and don't participate in what my folks did.

She too told me to find a life.

I gave it a try.

I started having intense conversations with girls.

I was paying attention to one at one point I thought something would come out of it.

When we got into an emotional mood, she said we should stop.

She said I may be too busy for her.

I wasn't much heart broken because I was still experimenting.

Then there was this other chic too.

We've been flirting on BBM.

When school eventually resumed, I asked her out.

My friends suggested I did - that it will boost my confidence, even after being turned down.

She put me in the church zone.

Chei!

The third girl - I got attracted to her when she was still a one-week fresher.

We didn't talk much because I wasn't at the department often.

I went after her in January.

Started sleeping in school just to see her.

Sometimes I stopped work just to see her.

I was so crazy about her and wanted to make her happy I told one of my big uncles who happens to be an Artiste to call her and tell her how much she means to me.

When I asked her out, she said I should give her time.

Days went by, it looked like we were dating from her body language.

I was desperate for an answer but didn't get it.

While I was still waiting for her response, I asked someone else out.

She has been my friend for two years now.

She attended the 2012 Christmas Carol with me in my church, not minding her being a Muslim.

She knows how to take good care of me and she would have been the kind of girl i'd love to be with if I can get so much love from her.

I knew deep down things won't go far between us, considering our religious lines.

But I just wanted to give it a try.

Who knows, it could be positive

After I asked her out, things changed.

I smelled trouble.

When I eventually confronted her during a chat on BBM

She said she had been avoiding me.

Does that need any more explanation?

Though she is a workaholic like me and an industrious woman, I just had to create a space she had sketched.

We've not really been talking.

I've been spending more time with the church girl.

She's beautiful and innocent.

I even had dinner at her place yesterday.

Oh! That eba and egusi soup was made in Heaven.

Guess what?

Remember the girl I told my uncle to call?

Something happened between us, I thought she was taking advantage of me.

I made some horrible remarks, deleted her contact from my phones.

She saw me two days ago and said "Thanks for deleting me from your BBM."

I just smiled.

Did you notice my DPs and PMs recently?

It's unusual of me right?

I think I miss her so much.

I'm beginning to think the reason i'm avoiding her is because i'm deeply in love with her.

But what can you force someone else to love you.

Aint judging no one right now and I can't change anyone.

We all have our lives to live.

Now i'm chasing the paper.

I want to be on FORBEs

Will it be fair to say girls have been a distraction to me lately?

I don't think so

I guess they make life beautiful but they are just too complicated.

I'm too weak to fight for love now.

I just want to be rich and famous.

Maybe I will go on a course on women and relationships later.

Is something changing about me recently?

I'm becoming too emotional.

I need to get back to work.

It's VAL... love, get hurt, cry, fight, kiss, cuddle, play, party, do everything you can.

Enjoy life.

But for people like me that take life too seriously, be careful before you lose those that really matter.

Whatever happens always remember that 'LIFE GOES ON".